The Power of Socialization

Michael Hooper with Alexander Lancaster

By Michael Hooper

There is an enriching power in socialization. Some gatherings or parties inspire us for days afterwards. We come away with renewed energy, a sharper focus, a buzz of creativity, perhaps a vision for creating a change in our own life or in our community. These face-to-face gatherings used to include a handshake, a hug, a kiss and a close up look into the eyes of a loved one. There's something special about a touching affirmation of your struggle, you know when somebody understands you, you feel a sense of belonging.

We are hungry to get back to that level of socialization; social media helps but is not the same, not as intimate.

I'm thinking back to some of the parties I attended right before lockdown.

I had a party of writers and artists at my house on January 29th. It was a Wednesday night, cold in the heart of Winter. I lit a fire in the fireplace and played records for seven friends, Velvet Underground, Richard Hell & New Order, while working on writing projects together. I read several passages of a friend's new book. We toured my art studio and sat by candlelight in the backyard. Ate a bunch of food and talked and talked and talked, we could have stayed up all night. Tambour Bieker was hand dancing to Throbbing Gristle and Vincent Neff played his own version of industrial music kind of David Lynch style. Tara Rhiannon Bartley said the party was magical. I was high on this party for several days. I ended up ordering a David Lynch book and worked on my own book Diary of a Bohemian.

The last party I went to in Topeka was Saturday March 7th at the Two Wolves Studio, celebrating Alexander Lancaster's birthday. Probably a hundred people there, most of them artists, really cool setting with a ton of art on the walls and Nate Dingman playing music, and people talking about their art very passionately, heard all kinds of stories, saw an old friend Shar Evans, I did not know that she was such a great artist, I really enjoyed visiting with her about how she got into art and how it helped her in a therapeutic way, she is very particular with her lines, and colors, her paintings are very accurate, a realist in a fantasy world. November Evelyn Wilde was deeply engaged with a colorfully dressed woman, surrounded by admirers, holding court like a salon in her art studio and carrying on about the artistic process. Alexander Lancaster and I took a selfie together. Nate Dingman sang and played guitar for two hours. At the end of the night, November and I agreed it was one of the best parties in Topeka in years. I've never seen so many creative people together. Again I had a boost of energy for days, I went back to my studio and worked furiously, painting the Maui Dude, based on a picture of this street person I photographed in late February.

Then the Covid-19 crisis led to the shutdown of America around St Patrick's Day. For nearly 40 days we've been cooped up, unable to gather with other people, even our own families. The spark that I get from such gatherings has elusively disappeared.

Sure I continue to meet with friends and family by phone and online. I have attended board meetings for an organization that I am involved with. But other than that, I talk to my wife in person and that's the only person I get close to, I'm afraid to touch anybody else.

I know scientists are working on treatments and vaccines for the Coronavirus. Until there is a treatment and a vaccine, I fear going to big gatherings again. My wife and I wear our face masks when we go to the grocery store, otherwise we don't get around other people at all. We got worried when we saw the produce department was overly crowded with shoppers at Aldi. Someone might get closer than 6 feet. Got to abide by that social distancing rule.

I'm glad I had those parties with friends, I'm grateful I took the invitation to go to these important events. My wife's cousin is celebrating 20 years together with her husband and we were at their wedding. Most parties I rarely turn down. I went to Rome and New York and Athens, Greece, for concerts. Thinking about these memories brings a smile to my face. Memories is all we have and I fear such memories will be hard to come by in the future. Will we be wearing masks for the rest of our days? Will we be able to hug again? What is our future going to be like?

I suspect most people will not wear masks and will return immediately to close intimate gatherings. I hope we do not see a resurgence in the Coronavirus. The scientists cannot work fast enough to find a cure. I appreciate all the people who have been working during the shutdown. I feel for the people who have lost their jobs. I hope they can go back to work soon. Stay safe everyone.