The Worst Days of Leonaye Bulger

By Michael Hooper

I was rummaging through old photographs the other day when I found one of Leonaye Bulger, a friend from Clarinda, Iowa, my hometown where I grew up. She and I belong to the same church, Trinity Presbyterian Church where her father was the pastor.

Leonaye died tragically of cancer at age 28, too young. She was a good person. She was funny and kind and she liked photography and printing, she worked in the printing industry in Omaha and had saved her money to buy a new car. She was a hard-working person with a sweet and warm personality.

Sometime in the late 1980s, Leonaye and I arranged to meet for a day of photography around Clarinda, we were both home for the holidays. I remember it was cold that day yet it was sunny with blue skies. We drove in my car and walked all over Clarinda taking pictures. I remember we walked around the Gun Town area of Clarinda and took some pictures of goats in someone's field. I took a picture of her standing on a sidewalk on the north side of the square in downtown Clarinda. There she is smiling with her camera around her neck, wearing a blue coat with gloves because it was a cold day in Iowa. You can just see her excitement at being alive. She is so pleasant and easy to be around; a delightful personality with a beautiful soul. We were not romantic but I did kiss her and hug her and we held each other for a moment, I could sense she was holding out for someone special.

At church, my parents and brothers and I would eat cookies and drink coffee in the after church social room. I often talked to Kathy Hunter and sometimes Leonaye Bulger. 

After finding this old photo of Leonaye, I decided to look her up on the Internet. I found that she was the co-author of a book called The Worst Days, the Journal of a Young Cancer Patient for Healthcare Professionals, by Leonaye Bulger and Judy Dierkhising. There was one left at Amazon and I purchased it. The book is only 32 pages and I quickly read it after it arrived.

There are many worst days in the final eight months of her life. The first is the realization of her illness. She has a vaginal discharge but is confident it's not a yeast infection. She insists her doctor check her again and they do a biopsy.  For the results, she goes to the medical office and her doctor tells her cancer had spread to the upper third of her vagina. She writes, "I have endocervical andenocarcinoma cancer. I am devastated! Once the appointment is over, I lose it, the tears roll nonstop. How could this be? I am only 27 years old I do not drink, smoke, do drugs or sleep around! Why me? I learned today the body is mortal."

The book documents some of the drama that she is experiencing with relationships, including her boyfriend Michael. She buys a rabbit for companionship, and enjoys talking late into the night with her sister.

It's interesting her boyfriend's name is Michael, same as mine, but of course it's not me. I married my wife in 1993. Leonaye Bulger was born May 10th, 1966, and died May 29th, 1994. She left behind her sister and parents.

Among her worst days was the doctors' inspections of her pelvic region, it was embarrassing lying on a table where doctors, nurses and image specialists inspected her.

In her final days, the cancer destroys tissue in her uterus and this causes infection and swelling and she balloons to looking like seven months pregnant. She experiences very severe pain. I feel so sad for her, she was given morphine and was throwing up and unable to write in the end so she dictated her last words to her mother.

'Mom do something, the pain is too much," she said. The nurse prepares to inject more sleeping medicine. But Leonaye dies. She had just turned 28 years old.

In comparison to her worst days, Leonaye and I shared one of her best days, when she was happy, she was excited about shooting photos of buildings, animals and nature with me. We had great conversations. I think we were together maybe three or four hours. I remember leaving the Bulger house that day feeling a sense of contentment and hope. The Rev. Charles Bulger is a kind and warm soul. He always is so encouraging, and supported my family and my career in newspapers. These people are the kind of people who make a community stronger and better, more loving and full of hope. I'm sorry Leonaye did not live any longer. The world could have used her bright and shining spirit. May God give her the highest joys in heaven for all The Worst Days on Earth.